Welcome to my TedTalk.
And yes, I have the receipts.
So, at 5.30am, I stopped my car outside of the corner shop. From my back seat, I could have sworn I heard laughter. The laughter sounded young; adolescent. I decided I must have heard something/someone from outside the vehicle, and as I let my passenger in, my stomach dropped, as I was overcome with a feeling of nausea and dread. “Hello Shana”, she said.
To summarise, the urge to shake my daughter to death and put her in the oven isn’t one that I would like to wear on my sleeve. I constantly have the daydream where I forget her in the car. I keep seeing myself drop her from the bed.
I was told it was despicable and that I was using something as sensitive as pregnancy and the birth of my daughter to make money. 5000 shares later, I feel the need to respond…
At 9.45pm, the other woman was transported to Somerset Hospital. My daughter and I remained in the waiting room. She woke up to nurse, and I opened my breast to feed her, with tears in my eyes. The pain had progressed to the point where I could no longer stand or sit upright. And of course, as she suckled, my womb contracted. I was sincerely convinced that I was going to die.
It’s been seven months of hoping, tracking, timing, taking my temperature, consultations with my doctors, medication that makes me feel sick and slightly loopy, weight gain despite healthier eating habits, and the possibility that I may have Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS). This is not good news.